An artisanally crafted blog curated by Cooking Lager for discerning readers of beer bloggery

Friday, 23 January 2015

Beer Bloggery Lives!

Someone smarter than me once said that all politics is binary. You are either for or against. You are either yes or you are no. That the politics of consensus does not truly exist and where it appears to exist it masks either a deception or a selling of principles for a price. That we the voter should abhor consensus, coalition and politicians working together and see it for the sniveling cop out it is. We should demand gladiatorial contests of mighty intellects and in the victory of our principles crush our ideological opponents with barely disguised contempt as the new revealed truth emerges from our once considered radical opinion.

The single biggest cultural and political issue of our age is the most noble of all noble endeavors, the path of enlightened beer geekery. The beer geek bestrides the early 21st century as a modern day colossus, a titan, a living god. Intellectual and cultural superiority assured, the trail is of walking a path others can follow towards their own beer nirvana.

Yet questions still remain, still, even now, questions that can only have a yes or a no. The continuation of long established beery tradition or the embracing of new innovative technology, ingredients or recipe? Cloudy or clear? Hop bomb or boring brown? Sparkler or no sparkler? Saucy/offensive pump clip or stylish contemporary design? Exclusive or inclusive pricing? These questions have challenged mankind since we rose from the primordial soup to be self-aware conscious entities seeking an explanation for the universe we inhabit. These questions require the titans of beer geekery to stand and be counted. To have their conviction and intellect questioned and challenged in the all mighty battle of cultural dominance.

But where are they? As the 21st century emerged so was born the greatest art form known to man. I’m talking about beer bloggery. This art form grew organically from the lesser art forms, technologies and human innovations that preceded it. The development of human language, the written word, the printing press, computers, computer networks and the internet. All coming together to finally reach the pinnacle of human achievement. Beer Bloggery.

In the centuries to come, school children in their virtual reality classrooms in space will doubtless study this literary genre and place it on a par with Shakespeare, Dickens and Chaucer. It will be the defining literary fructification of the age. Ask yourself this, how many other literary genres have a guild? However, beer bloggery is in peril. It is a dying art. The world of twitter has reduced the great beery intellectual debate to short pithy assertions, where mob rule towers over cerebral hypothesis. The great beer bloggers of days past now rarely if ever post. What was once a lush garden has become a desert. A post apocalyptic nightmare.

The greatest of 21st century phrenic rumination may whither on the vine. As if the whole of human evolution was a long battle, red in tooth and claw, brutal in pain and death, to see itself flower for only a single summer before the chaos of unreason once more reasserted its dominance.

Well I’m not standing for it. Beer bloggery needs to be saved! It needs to return. Human civilization demands it. To achieve this I have asked the greatest alumnus of beer bloggery to return. To post once more their beery musings. To guest post here. Many have heeded that call and are furiously typing away as you read this. Beer bloggery will not die, it will live and as those guest posts come in I will publish them here. Works of beery brilliance collected and released here. Future generations will have no need to study the ancient lost art of beer bloggery for it will live on and remain a relevant ideal long into the 22nd century and beyond.

Beer Bloggery Lives!


Tandleman said...

Good to see you yesterday Cookie. Is this a one off?

Cooking Lager said...

And you guv'nor. The man keeping the art alive. Someone has to save beer bloggery from it's current slow death. Obviously that's not me, but the world's greatest living beer writers have agreed to guest post, creating what I hope will become a resurrection of the great art. They will be posted once I've corrected their spelling.

Typhoid said...


Dvorak said...

Excellent - two things to revivify beer bloggery. The other being that a couple of Septics have declared that "craft" is no longer an acceptable description for beer of any type. Could you publish some more pics of lovely German girls enjoying proper beer? Or lovely Czech girls?

Cooking Lager said...

Cheers, Dvorak.