It is true to say I love cooking lager; I love its ice cold fizzy deliciousness. I love the fact a giant box of it can be bought for buttons. I love the fact that some beer geeks look down not only on the product but those that enjoy it. Cooking lager not only fills me with joy but it connects me with the vibrant hub of the world. Today is Valentine’s Day, a day for expressing one’s love. I shall not get to express my one true love today for a different love is to be appreciated. The lady squeeze has texted me to tell me she loves me. The flowers have arrived and it’s a bigger bunch than any of the other girls in her work place got. I guess I picked the right picture off the Interflora website. Tonight I shall be ripped off in a fancy Dan restaurant by paying over the odds for a Valentines menu and bottle of wine. What wine shall I buy? The second cheapest on the menu. Not the cheapest, the second cheapest. It’s only fermented grapes, the cheapest will be perfectly okay, but I don’t want to appear cheap. If I’m lucky the evening shall end with a bit of how’s your father. We shall wait until we get home, we don’t want to be thrown out of another restaurant.
Yesterday I discovered a sweet ritual 2 friends of mine engage in. Both gentleman, both single, both as far as they care to admit heterosexual, and both having a yearly ritual of going out for a Valentine’s Day meal together at a curry house. They claim it is a bit of a joke, I neither know nor care whether it is. A few years ago they were out on the piss and went for a curry not knowing it was Valentine’s Day. They figured it out when presented with the special lovers menu and because it came with a free drink they opted for it. Being the 21st century the restaurant had no issue with 2 gentlemen enjoying a romantic Valentine’s day meal and in fact were made especially welcome by a slightly camp Indian waiter who treated them especially attentively as they enjoyed their candlelit meal. They go out to the same restaurant every year for a ruby & free pint of cobra & lovers desert to share. Love is as they say a beautiful thing, I await an invite to the civil partnership ceremony and wonder whether it will be two stag nights or one joint one.
My love of cooking lager will have to wait. Another night I will show my love by cracking open a can of lout and plonking myself in front of the telly. I may occasionally be unfaithful, I may occasionally neck other forms of grog with differing modes of dispense but cooking lager is an understanding lover. She never complains and she is always there in the fridge waiting for my return. However you are spending the evening and whoever lovers’ arm you spend it within tonight is an evening for lovers. Here’s my beer poem in honour of Dredge.
I wish to scream, I wish to shout
I need to express my love of the lout
It’s golden fizzy ice cold bliss
Every swig the embrace of a lovers kiss