An artisanally crafted blog curated by Cooking Lager for discerning readers of beer bloggery

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

CAMCL Christmas Appeal

The Campaign for Cooking Lager (CAMCL, sounds a bit like chemical, see what I’m doing there?), is a socially responsible campaign.

Instead of encouraging people to go out, drink a skin full in pubs, then have fights outside kebab shops, piss in shop doorways and cause the police a bit of bother, CAMCL has always been the champion of buying a big box of cheap lager, sitting on your couch, necking as much of it as you fancy, watching a bit of telly, then making your way upstairs to bed.

So it is disappointing to see the authorities of Manchester promote irresponsible drinking with a view to imposing local minimum pricing, as Mudge tells us here.

It with this in mind that the CAMCL Christmas Appeal seeks to not only spread the joy of the season to the less fortunate, but also tackle irresponsible drinking. It's what the little baby Jesus would want.

This years appeal is an appeal to “Buy a tramp a can of Stella”. By this act of generosity we can make the world a better place. At this time of year tramps do not have a nice centrally heated home to sit in. They are out in the cold. At this time of year it is a time to share the joy of cooking lager.

An experience this week made it clear to me that it is the socially responsible thing to do. When parking my car in the underground car park of a supermarket I walked up the ramp way to the ground level. A gentleman poet of the street was urinating down the ramp way. Forewarned to the stream of urine heading my way I deftly skipped to one side and kept my trainers clean. The supermarket quickly ejected this gentleman from the premises, and with a stream of Scottish sounding profanity, the gentleman street poet was gone. Where is this gentleman now meant to acquire his imbibations?

That is where CAMCL supporters can do their bit. Buy as many cans of Stella as you can afford, and go forth onto the streets and hand them out to tramps. These Scottish gentlemen of the street will no doubt thank you in an incoherent manner and you will feel like you’ve put something back into society. No more will people be able to claim that cheap supermarket lager is socially irresponsible.

Please pledge your support in the comments box, for this years CAMCL Christmas Appeal


Whorst said...

Was the Scottish gentleman Tandleman?

Professor Pie-Tin said...

Let me get this straight.
You live 'oop North AND you own a car ?

Anonymous said...

Why did he wee in the ramp area doesnt he have a sink!

The Bocking Kellys said...

Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty of the KLF did something similar one Christmas in London. The tale is told in Drummond's book 45. They basically scammed Tenants into giving them loads of cans of Super for nothing (Carlsberg wouldn't play ball with Special Brew) and then spent a couple of nights dishing them out to London's homeless. The most striking point from the story was the amount of stick they got from some of the homeless people who wouldn't touch the Tenants because they were Special Brew drinkers!