An artisanally crafted blog curated by Cooking Lager for discerning readers of beer bloggery

Friday, 1 October 2010

We don’t need no education


We don’t need no education
We don’t need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the class room
Teachers leave those kids alone
(yells) Hey, teachers! Leave those kids alone!

I love beer blogs. I love reading ‘em and by and large I quite like what I read. There is a certain perspective that winds me up. Maybe it’s the working class chip on my shoulder, who is to say? Actually it is.

Here’s some random unattributed quotes from beer blogs I’ve read recently. I haven’t named and shamed because I like the blogs, think those that write them are nice people and really am in no mood to pick a fight but here goes

“.....educating folks about Cask Beer is key to its continued growth

However nice and well meaning and middle class you are, education will not make me middle class. Despite growing up in a terrace council house I managed 2 university degrees, swallowed as much education as I could stomach because I wanted the same nice home you nice middle class people live in and a nice bird with nice knockers under my duvet and I drink cheap lager because I like it. Be grateful I chose that route rather than sell drugs to your kids, rob your houses or lead a revolution where I just take the lot off you. Education makes me prosperous enough to make choices but you cannot educate me to make your choices. I know cask ale is nice grog. I drink Carling because I like it and I have no prosperity guilt whatsoever that makes me wish to pay more for chickens, clothes, chocolate or beer.

“do you think it’s a generally positive thing that the nationals are covering real ale, even if the message is blurred?

There is no message. A newspaper has no obligation to promote anything, share your perspective or promote the pongy rot you like to poison your guts with. Why should a nice lady that likes a drop of Pinot Grigio and works for a newspaper when asked to write something about “The cask report” produce the CAMRA manifesto? Be pleased she didn’t say pongy ale stunk and tasted of sweaty armpits. Be pleased she liked it, even if tonight she’s back on the Pinot.

“the less enlightened head for Tesco and Sainsbury for their slabs of yellow fizz

Go on, continue to think your preference for pongy ale makes you any of the following, clever, more articulate, more refined, more discerning or even enlightened. Please continue because it makes me laugh and I like to laugh. But I'm not laughing with you, I'm laughing at you.

If you spot those quotes on your beer blog, please don’t be offended. I’m not picking a fight. I love your blog, that’s why I read it. But that is why the Campaign for Greater Cooking Lager Appreciation must continue to spread the joy of cheap supermarket lager.

Have a top weekend, get some dirt cheap supermarket lager down you and enjoy every drop.

We don’t need no education
We don’t need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the class room
Teachers leave those kids alone
(yells) Hey, teachers! Leave those kids alone!

11 comments:

StringersBeer said...

Blogs about beer blogging are the just the best aren't they?

Cooking Lager said...

They rock, Stringers, they rock.

Professor Pie-Tin said...

You're about as working class as my
BMW-driving gardener.
You wouldn't know a whippet if it bit you on the arse.
Back on form though Cookie - good man yourself.

Tandleman said...

Well I recognise my quote (the third one)but of course when you replicate it, it is as a misquote, as you missed out my "(presumably)" which actually was, in my way, agreeing with you in what you say. (We shouldn't assume as the cask report does that people who buy slabs of lager don't know any better. But most don't of course; or don't care; or can't afford to do differently; or actually, horror of horrors, prefer it.)

Still, I'm not that bothered that you portray me as a middle class twat, rather than the working class hero what I am.

Bastard! (-;

Tandleman said...

Actually to be fair, the Cask Report doesn't say that - it is my reading between the lines. Thought I'd better get that in before Pete Brown boxes my ears.

Mark, Real-Ale-Reviews.com said...

A real life class argument on a beer blog in 2010? Priceless!

Tandleman said...

Mark - Er no. I think you'll find it was tongue in cheek.

Though I am of course a hero of a classy kind.

The New Frontier of Ale said...

WTF?? The Cask Report??!! It's all gone a bit silly, hasn't it?? I figured as much that you were quoting Tandleman. He and I have a rich history with numerous exchanges and various tracks. Peter, you up for another??

RedNev said...

CL: I drink real ale and accept other people make different choices. I don't insult their preferred drinks, because if you do, you are simply being bad mannered and at the same time reinforcing the view that drinking real ale is a bit strange. Viz's cartoon strip about real ale drinkers often hit the mark.

Cooking Lager said...

Tand, you are a working-class hero to me, matey even if you are not one for the lout

Tyson said...

Fight! Fight! Fight! Nay, as much as I like to see the middle classes fight amongst themselves, I think it's time for a group hug.

Anyway, didn't blogging about beer blogging go out with the Noughties?