An artisanally crafted blog curated by Cooking Lager for discerning readers of beer bloggery

Tuesday, 1 June 2010

The price.

This has got nothing to do with beer. This is a movie review for Sex and the City 2. It's my blog, I can write whatever rubbish I like. The film is shit. Complete and utter shit. It does not possess a single redeeming feature. It is complete and utter shit. Not all chick flicks are shit. Over the past couple of years I’ve sat through a fair few. Some are better than others. Occasionally one is quite a good film. Not this one. It is shit. Shit with a capital S.

Not even an overpriced bottle of lout in the bar beforehand could rescue it.

Recently the lady squeeze had me sitting through a film called Mannequin on a channel usually devoted to pop videos called Viva. That had Kim Cattrall in it too. It was about a bloke that falls in love with a shop dummy. Yup you read it correct. An example of 1980’s cinema that has you thanking the fact that “they don’t make them like that anymore”. Prior to Sex and the City 2 I thought that was the worst film I’d ever seen. Nope, Kim Cattrall has bettered herself, and made a worse movie. At least in Mannequin she was a tasty looking piece. Sex and City 2 is just a load of old birds in stupid outfits talking crap. The first film was poor. I didn’t mind the TV series. It was TV for lasses but I could cope with it. Can of lout in hand, it was occasionally funny. I preferred Will & Grace, but as far as sitcoms for lasses go, it wasn’t that bad. Sex and the City 2 is shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.

I’m a simple sort of fella. All I want out of life is a fridge full of cheap lager and a tasty lass to play with. There is a price. Sex and the City 2 is the point at which the price becomes high.


EDIT: other shit things I did this weekend, watched the Eurovision song contest, gardening, visited the future in-laws. Cans of lout necked = 3. Next weekend I am on the lout, and that is that.

8 comments:

Meer For Beer said...

I hope it earnt you brownie points though!

Cooking Lager said...

brownie points or not, treacle. Next weekend I am on the lout, and that is that.

Ed said...

Not quite Lindy West: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/burkas-and-birkins/Content?oid=4132715

Cooking Lager said...

I read that, Ed. I don't remember some of the flick. I must have dozed off. I remember one chick flick I saw that was about a group of spanish women in a kitchen cooking. I dozed off. An hour later they were still in the kitchen but one of them was crying. But at least I got out of that one before closing time. I didn't even get a pint after Sex2.

Roll on Crank 3.

Meer For Beer said...

Can't say I blame you after having to sit though that.

Sid Boggle said...

I'm trying to find a way to make that whip-cracking noise you make to your mates who are under the thumb. Any advice? 8-)

Tyson said...

I found it quite acceptable. Mind you, I did have eight pints of pongy ale beforehand. And half a bottle of wine.

Pigman said...

My Missus wants to drag me along to see that flick as well. I hope Nanna Catrell doesn't get her wrinkley 'not so fun anymore' bags out in this one. Although Kim Cattral was in the original Porky's movie which does give her some cult cred.