I have come to realise that there are times in life when emergency lout is required. That is a situation arises that requires immediate lout. It can be sat in a cinema watching Sex & the City 2; it can be at a beer festival when you’ve discovered there is little by way of decent honest to goodness cooking lager; it can be anywhere you think “Good God, what is required is immediate lout”. I have been pondering this and so far the following is my solution. A cool box with enough space for 6 ice cold pints of fizzy goodness & a packet of techi ice to keep it cold. I can take lout anywhere and never be without my lovely dirt cheap nectar.
No need to pop into pubs when out and about. A seat on a park bench next to a tramp and a cheap can of ice cold fizzy goodness. Pay £4 for a plastic cup of lout at a music festival? Out with the lout. At a beer festival and there is nowt but pong to neck? Out with the lout. I suspect I shall be the envy of all others as I neck ice cold fizzy goodness with the subtle delicate aroma of lout at 43p a can! If asked what is in the glass say “Mudgies Golden Pongalicious”, it is a fine light ale”. Why suffer the ring piece testing properties of cask ale? On a train? Out with the lout. Driving down the M6 Toll? Lovely can of cheap fizzy lout. I can think of no situation that would not be improved by the immediate accessibility of lovely lout.
At the hospital and just been told you’re about to die? Out with the lout. Stood outside the changing room at topshop? Out with the lout. Sat in a boring meeting at work? Out with the lout. How did I live without this? Is a man bag a bit of a camp thing for a fella to have? Not if it’s full of lout.