I haven’t blogged in a while. That’s because I’ve been drinking lout and not writing about it. The lout is a personal pleasure, and I enjoy sharing my enthusiasm for cheap lout, but sometimes it’s just a personal pleasure. I’ve been enjoying the 2 for £16 offers at Tesco and have been necking Carlsberg Export & Becks. You have to be careful with these offers because it’s been clear for some time the price of lout is increasing. The economy has been buggered by a profligate labour administration, and we are in the age of inflation & austerity. Not to worry though, the sun is shining and the lout is still cheap enough to well and truly pissed up for buttons on a lovely cheap, pure and healthy product whilst sitting in your garden. It’s not all bad. The way the price of lout increases is quite subtle. 24 packs become 20 packs which become 18 packs which become 15 packs. The price per box remains, the amount you get decreases. You have to do the maths to figure out whether the offer is really a bargain. A bizarre offer recently was Sainsbury’s 2 for £18 offer. A week ago it was 2 for £16. On the offer were boxes of the lovely Carlsberg Export. Both boxes of 15 & 18, 275ml bottles on offer. If you’re not careful you’ll pick up the boxes of 15 and miss out on 6 bottles of lovely lout. Keep your eyes on the prize, cooking lager enthusiasts.
A feature of cooking lager enthusiasm is to share it with your fellow man. Always point out the offers to fellow shoppers. Recently I saw a woman buying a 12 can pack of Carling for £9.99. Next to it was a 24 pack on offer at £10. Not everyone does the maths. An “excuse me, that one’s twice the size and 1p” more usually elicits thanks and gratitude with your fellow shopper and rarely a “mind your own business”. Cooking Lager enthusiasm is an approach of sharing the joy with your fellow man and helping your brothers and sisters get there lovely lout as cheap as you do.
Tesco have put a 4 box limit on the lout offerings, which to be honest I’m not too sure about. On the positive side I understand that Supermarkets want the offer to be there for retail customers and want the stock to be there when punters punt up. If they advertise an offer and the stock is gone because money grasping pub landlords cheating on their tied contracts have filled the van up, they are not meeting their customers need. However cooking lager enthusiasts do use these offers to fill the garage up with cheap stock to enjoy over a prolonged period where cheap offers may not be forthcoming.
Also don’t panic about government plans to ban below cost selling. A myth put about by people with beards is that supermarkets give their products away below cost. No business does this to any great degree and when it does it is usually on lines that are not moving out of the door. That stock is shunted out at whatever price it goes for and not replaced.
The reason why the lout is so cheap in supermarkets isn’t because they sell below cost; it is because they accept low margins. They pile it high and sell it cheap. You can accept a low margin on a high turnover and maintain an acceptable overall profit.
A ban on below cost selling will do nothing to hamper cooking lager enthusiasm. So what are you reading this rubbish for? You’ve got a fridge of lovely lout. It’s a sunny day. Sit in your garden and enjoy all that is good about the summer. Cheap lout and ladies not wearing a lot.