An artisanally crafted blog curated by Cooking Lager for discerning readers of beer bloggery

Friday, 9 April 2010

Romance


The sun is shining, spring is in the air, National cheap supermarket lout week is a roaring success as pubs are still shutting across the land whilst the tills of consumer champion Tesco ring and I am in the mood for romance, for romance is the essence of life. Romance for me is pretty much sex, but with one important difference. Rather than just pounce on the lady squeeze, throw her over my shoulder, take her upstairs, throw her on the bed and jump on her, I romance her. Romance her by pouring her a glass of wine; talking to her for a bit about the drivel girls like to talk about. Her day at work, which one of her mates has a new fella or sacked off a fella, or been dumped. Then when she’s necked the wine, she gets pounced on and that’s where romance generally resembles sex. The weekend officially starts.

But as romance is in the air, I'm thinking let’s merge national cheap supermarket lout week, with national be nice to beer geeks week. During national be nice to beer geeks week, it’s okay to have a beard, wear sandals, read the guardian, drink rank pong and comment on the deep roast chocolaty notes of whatever grog you like to get pissed on. The people have spoken, the poll is in, and 71% of the odd balls that choose to read this tripe think beer bloggers should be nice to each other. Whorst has been busy making up the rest of the votes and I thank him for his persistence.

To add to this joy and gaiety and air of romance I propose the following. I’m not much of a one for pubs, but from time to time I’ve been known to show my face in one. I won’t complain about my beloved Spoons being full of beer geeks due to the beer festival, and the queue to get a cheap burger, chips and lovely ice cold pint of Tuborg, as it’s be nice to beer geeks week, but I will say this. Isn’t it about time we banned smoking in beer gardens? Beer gardens ought to be nice, fragrant areas with a bit of greenery. A place to enjoy the sun, ice cold pint of lout and ogle lasses in flimsy tops. Instead they’ve become dirty ashtrays where the cancer brigade go to poison themselves. Ban this filth!

Oh and visit this blog. It is the greatest beer blog ever.

4 comments:

Montague said...

I only voted once!!

Try mixing it up in the bedroom. Break out a cheese grater and apply it to her bum. They love creativity and erotica!

Paul Bailey said...

After checking out the Oktoberfest Girls web-site Cookie, I have to agree with you!

Mark said...

That IS the greatest beer blog I've ever seen.

It's about time I visited Oktoberfest...

Tandleman said...

Now that's a beer blog. Gotta say I love German girls. Another great reason why I holiday in Bavaria such a lot.