An artisanally crafted blog curated by Cooking Lager for discerning readers of beer bloggery

Monday, 22 March 2010

Tesco French Lout

A nice weekend of responsible moderate drinking this time, and all due to steering clear of uncontrolled irresponsible public houses and necking a few bottles of lout at home at a time of year when all cooking lager enthusiasts are looking forward to Easter. There has been a dearth of good supermarket offers on of late. Recently I had to buy a 10 pack of Stella 4% for £6, that’s 60p a can! All because that was the cheapest lout I could find in Tesco. For someone used to paying 40p a can the checkout was painful. Thankfully Sainsbury’s had Carlsberg Export on, 18 bottles for £7.99, which is a lovely offer on a decent lout, so I ended up with a small stock up on a nice drop to neck. Easter should see the 18 bottle boxes of Beck’s at 3 for £20 though. Or even 24 packs of Carlsberg or Fosters on for a tenner. Might not see Carling going cheap for a while as I gather Coors are unhappy about the low margins on flogging cheap lout to likes of me. Easter should be time to stock up and replenish dwindling supplies of lovely lout if your brand flexible. And I am.

One emergency cheap lout I picked up was 8 bottles of 4.8% French lager in Tesco for £2.79. Similar I thought to the 8 stubbies for £3 Sainsbury’s have on, I blogged about here. Chilling them and necking them, it’s a different lout altogether. Less malt and more maize in the Tesco one, but the ingredients are clear from the label, and coming in as quite a nice Peroni or Stella style of lout, and 21p cheaper than Sainsbury’s French lout. Lovely stuff. Enough to keep a few cheap louts in the fridge whilst you’re sitting it out for a bargain, refusing to pay full whack for a box of branded lout.

Cooking lager enthusiasm, you see, isn’t just about loving the lovely lout; it’s about loving paying buttons for it. Buying it dirt cheap is part of the fun. If you pay full whack, that’s not true cooking lager enthusiasm. Now you can do that if you’re training up as a cooking lager enthusiast. There is no harm in it, other than to your bank balance. If you want to get a taste for it, it’s all fine and dandy. It is a benefit especially if you are a pongy ale drinker looking to make improvements to your life and get into cooking lager. You’ll find it cheaper than the premium pongy ales, even at full price. However when you get into the hobby, you’ll want to buy your grog as cheap as possible. That’s when events like Easter come in. Like bank holidays, there are those that claim it has some sort of meaning. Usually religious or some other such supernatural bullshit, but cooking lager enthusiasts are not anti the God squad. We need more religious holidays to observe. More events for the supermarkets to try and sucker punters in with cheap lager. Now it’s stretching it slightly to imagine Tesco offering cheap lout to celebrate an Islamic religious date, but there are plenty of Jewish, Buddhist and Hindu events that deserve a public holiday and supermarket offer of cheap lager. Frankly I think it disgusting the supermarkets don’t. I might send Tesco a letter claiming to be a red sea pedestrian and demanding the cheap lager my Christian cousins get for their religious holidays. So long as I don’t have to show them my uncircumcised knob, I’ll no doubt get away with it.

Even so, waiting for the cheap lout offers of Easter, keep abreast of the flyers that come through the door, often with the free local paper. These tell you where the cheap lout is. Until then, if stocks are running low, Tesco French lager is cheap enough, and neck able enough to see you through.


Sweaty Jock said...

I've always been a Tennent's man myself. Expect exciting offers from them around the middle of the year.
They'll also be in T In The Park, so leave your cans at home.

Cooking Lager said...

Tandy is lovely, there is no need for that even if he is either Scottish, perspires heavily, both or neither.

Paul said...

The French don't make lager, they make wine.

I thought making lager was the job of the Belgians?

B-Dang said...

this is more like it! your back for now but how long will this last.