Dear Frank Dobson
I could not be arsed listening to you speak on Decision Time, Radio 4, broadcast on 27th January, as it’s not really my cup of tea but I gathered second hand what you were droning on about in your typical tedious retarded manner.
You’ve just claimed – and I might even be quoting your words exactly here, you never know, – that "heavy drinkers cause a vast amount of disorder, get involved in sexual assaults, get involved in accidents and are a major nuisance with loutish behaviour."
As a heavy binge drinker myself, I find your comments astonishingly offensive. You are saying like it's a bad thing? It is my free right as an Englishman to get as pissed up as a like, fight with whom I like and piss and vomit wherever I so choose. People fought wars to give me this freedom god dammit.
I do this because I enjoy it and would do it regardless of whether I was pissed up or not. You are wilfully confusing correlation with causation.
On behalf of myself and the vast majority of drinkers who consume a legal drug that enhances my existing anti social nature, I demand an apology from you for this appalling slur on our characters, and suggest you check the facts before you open your mouth on this topic again.
As a beer writer, albeit a half arsed parody of one, I’ll be copying this email in various channels and urging my pitifully few, apathetic, disrespectable readers to make their feelings known to you in a similar fashion.
Go piss up a rope fuckstick.
Write to Frank at -
Frank Dobson MP
House of Commons
London SW1A 0AA
Ring Frank on -
020 7219 4452 or 020 7219 5840
Fax Frank on -
020 7219 6956
Email Frank on
Inspired by Pete Brown