An artisanally crafted blog curated by Cooking Lager for discerning readers of beer bloggery

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

Campaign !

A bit of Cooking Lager campaigning today and an invite to all cooking lager enthusiasts to join the campaign for greater cooking lager appreciation. It is fairly undeniable that at many beer festivals around the country there is a distinct absence of high quality refreshing ice cold lout, and it was one of the many reasons for my absence at NWAF. That and the fact that I had a fridge full of lout so couldn’t be bothered getting on a train to go somewhere that didn’t have it.

Thus I’ve written an open letter to the CAMRA lot that organised the festival querying the lack of lout, emailing suebarker@bulldoghome.com as the editor of the CAMRA magazine. I encourage you to do the same. Please keep it polite, more is achieved that way. If you know of a beer festival that has no lout, please let me know and I’ll draft a polite request to them.

Dear More Beer Letters Page,

I have become an avid reader of your magazine from the web, since discovering a link on the blog of your Chairman Peter Alexander. I wish to take up the issue of the lack of delicious ice cold fizzy lout at the recent NWAF beer festival. Is it beyond the wit of man to stock a nice keg of Foster’s? Without the lout I fear your festival will only ever appeal to a minority of beer enthusiasts and not the 76% of the drinking population that love the lout and make up the largest portion of beer drank in the UK.

Your’s

Cooking Lager

Together we can encourage greater cooking lager appreciation across the nation.

On another point, beer bloggers, if you have a beer blog please put a follow button on it. It’s a piss easy way for bone idle people like me to see your latest nonsense on the dashboard.

EDIT tandleman@yahoo.co.uk to politely express your desire for a keg of cooking lager at next years NWAF. Please be polite, no spam, any campaign that engages in rudeness does not deserve success. Thank you Tandy for your correction.

18 comments:

The Beer Nut said...

They won't take you seriously. Not with that apostrophe on "Yours".

Anyway, why would the organisers of a festival specifically of winter ales bother with your complaint? Concentrate on the Great British Beer Festival -- that's well within your remit. Unless they change it to "The Great British Pongy Ale Festival" which, frankly, they should.

There's free tickets for bloggers on the Tuesday, and there are bars full of cooking lager with no queues.

Tandleman said...

Well a few things wrong Cookie Old Bean. One: More Beer is the magazine of Rochdale, Oldham and Bury Branch of CAMRA and nothing to do with the NWAF as such.

Two: I'm now the editor, not Sue

Three: I won't be publishing your letter

Four: We do sell lager at NWAF. Lots of it.

Five: We won't be selling Fosters or its like, anytime, ever.

Cooking Lager said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cooking Lager said...

@Nut : whadya expect from the spelling of a lout? But I agree the Great British Beer Festival will be getting a helpful suggestion to improve the beers on offer.

@Tandy : Oh come on Fella, it'll be a laugh. Publish! Selling just any old lager isn't good enough, it has to be cooking lager. That's the campaign. To get beer festivals to stock cooking lager. If enough people write in, you cannot ignore the people!

Whorst said...

If I lived over there, I'd help you organize a cooking festival. Why not do it yourself!! Call it Proper Real Keg, in association with Cooking, brings you the 1st Annual Festival of Cooking!! Nice ring to it, eh?

Cooking Lager said...

It is a nice idea, Whorst, but beer is a family. Why should we have different festivals? Let's come together as brothers in beer to give the people what they want. A festival that celebrates all beer styles from pongy to keg to cooking. It's what John Lennon would have wanted, I reckon. Peace, harmony, love and brotherhood.

The Beer Nut said...

And there's your banner:
"Give Piss A Chance"

Barm said...

Beer Nut has a fair point. You can get cooking lager at GBBF. It's served from the venue's own bar which is still open during the festival for some reason. They even have proper girls as bar staff, no beardy fat men pulling your pint.

Sid Boggle said...

Cooking: wot is this 'follow' button of which you speak?

Barm: I haven't got a beard...

Anonymous said...

I'm right behind you on this campaign!
Cookie for chairman of 'CAMCOL' - Campaign for Cooking Lager!

John Clarke said...

CAMCOL sounds like an ointment for piles. Strangely appropriate really.

Barm said...

That's not cooking lager in the picture at the top of the page.

Woolpack Dave said...

That's the picture I've got as wall paper on my BlackBerry. Indeed Barm, it is not cooking lager.

Cooking Lager said...

Just like CAMRA get to define what “real” means and get to choose some bizarre tripe involving secondary fermentation, spiles and what not I think I should get to define what “cooking” means. And “cooking”, I have decided, means any lout I like.

@Boggle, it's a gadget that you can add on your layout and when I press it I follow you, and any tripe you write appears on my dashboard. One was added to this as a default.

I like the slogan "Give piss a chance", its sold.

Paul Garrard said...

"Without the lout I fear your festival will only ever appeal to a minority of beer enthusiasts"

So?

Whorst said...

Yo, Cookster, you 'round?? Does the term "pinkie" in the UK refer to a finger that is rather smallish on ones hand??

Cooking and Proper Real, a match made in heaven!

Cooking Lager said...

a pinkie is indeed a finger
a pinkle is a cock
a pinko is a commie
the pink is the FT.

Whorst said...

Thanks for the clarification. I used the term in the lyrics for a new track, soon to be unleashed.

"Saturday night we'll be drinking proper real keg when all the ales gone we'll drink the dregs When the dregs are gone we'll drink umbrella-ed cocktails with pinkies sticking straight up!"

I am really enjoying the mix and vibe of this track. It should really have radio recognition.
Should be available early next week.