One of the beer gift sets hit the spot. The Kronenberg one. A delightful drop of 5% French lout with a sweetish aftertaste and image of continental sophistication. A Barley/Wheat mix forming the main liquor and for cooking lager at least, a little aroma of hopping to the beverage. A delightful swig spoiled by 2 factors. The bottle was 330ml and didn’t fit into the half pint glass, and the half pint glass was by any standard and definition of the term completely and utterly gay.
There are traditionalists that don’t like the modern usage of the word gay. They prefer its older and historic meaning of “screaming queen” However I’m no homophobe. I’d like to say some of my friends are gay, but they are not. A mate of the lady squeeze is as camp as Dale Wintons Christmas and whilst he has always struck me as a cordial and polite fellow I wouldn’t go as far as to say I like him. But then again I’d say that for most people. I’m not a people person. I dislike most people, including family members I love and friends I’ve known for years. People come in 2 categories, those with boobs and those without. Of the category of “those with boobs” (about half the population) there is a sub category of “those with boobs that let me play with them” and in that category there is only one person, the lady in my life. So there really is only one person I’d go as far as to say I liked and wanted to spend time with. If there is a purpose to other people I’ve yet to discover it.
Back to the point at hand, the modern usage of the term gay is not a term for those that bat for other side but a term that means “naff” or “rubbish” or “shite”. To describe an inanimate object as gay is not to say it has a sexual preference but to say it is not much cop. And half pint glasses are not much cop.
Half pint glasses are therefore by and large gay. From the mini dimple and nonics to this attempt. I have rarely seen ones that aren’t gay. I’ve seen one or two that are stylish, modern and trendy, but even those are gay because like trying to be cool is just so uncool. Who on gods earth would ever drink out of such a gay receptacle? The beer gift set would have been better with either a pint pot or more interestingly a 330ml glass for home drinkers rather than a repackaging of unwanted pub stock.
Having said all that the lout hit the spot and got me in the mood to mix a few cocktails and refine the recipe. Firstly the white spirits go best; alongside white wine, a dash of Port, and a useful addition are bottles of alcopop like blue wkd. With this it’s possible to throw stuff in a blender and make a slush puppy booze cocktail that even the missus will drink. The fuller flavoured darker spirits tend to dominate the fruit juice. In order to get the lady squeeze to dry one serve in a cocktail glass and make up a name. Something like “Chicago blue mist” or “Manhattan red sky”. There is a cocktail called a Manhattan and you never know, what you knock up might even share some common ingredients. This makes it sound like you knew what you were doing and haven’t just knocked up something foul. One tip though. Olives and cherries make a nice bit of decoration to a cocktail. Despite their name, cocktail sausages on cocktail sticks are not to be put in cocktails for decoration. It’s considered an error to put a small sausage in a drink. Throw enough of this grog down her and you’ll get an offer of an early night. It’s a winner.