Whilst many use January as the month of detox, gym joining, signing the pledge, cooking lager enthusiasts gallantly up their booze intake during this month as January is the month of the New Year party leftovers. Now I realise the government will not be happy with my irresponsible approach to the grog, but I trust this fella to tell me when the black helicopters are arriving to curtail a free Englishman’s right to get as damn well paralytic as he chooses.
Whilst Tandy is hoping the beer blogging community visit pubs more, whilst giving many of them a reason not to, you can be assured he is pissing in the wind when it comes to cooking lager enthusiasts. Not much for visiting pubs at the best of times, though the Spoons January sale has a magnetic quality, during January we have all the dregs of the season to neck. Leftover half boxes of lout, wine boxes, half bottles of vodka, whisky, sherry and even Advocaat that regardless of science you assure your lady that they “will not last till next Christmas, better get them necked”
Now I mention science because 16 is the magic number. Below 16% alcohol abv, grog goes stale if exposed to air, and above 16% it’s effectively pickled. It can go flat if carbonated but will technically last. The origin of pretty much all fortified wine (Sherry, Port, Madeira) is in an attempt to up the abv of wine by adding distilled wine (brandy) and make it transportable. Same goes for higher abv beers but I’m not getting into an argument about the origin of IPA. I will encourage you to read this book however in the hope that its author considers me a mate and wants to give me some free grog.
However, don’t ever tell the main squeeze the science of 16% (whether lady or not), or it’ll be saved till next Christmas. Tell her it all goes off and needs necking sharpish. It can make for some pretty grim boozing (when you polish off the Advocaat, or start squeezing the bag inside a wine box), but by and large if you're imaginative you can knock up cocktails and stuff.
Some people think cocktails have to have a recipe and name and have an air of sophistication about them. Nothing could be further from the truth. Here’s my recipe for something I like to call “January’s cocktail”, inspired by the beer cocktails of this delightful lady.
- 1. A large shot of everything and anything leftover
- 2. Ice
- 3. Top up with whatever fruit juice is open and in the fridge
- 4. Shake in a cocktail shaker like in the chick flick cocktail
- 5. Swig
Upon swigging, 2 possible effects can occur. One is you gag and scream “Jesus Christ, what the fuck?” the other is that you think “Umm that’s nice, aw damn I forgot the recipe”
However trust me; it improves after the first glass. After a couple you even start to enjoy it. You may very well fall over, but it won’t be outside on the ice going to or coming from a dumpy pub.