An artisanally crafted blog curated by Cooking Lager for discerning readers of beer bloggery

Monday, 7 December 2009

More food and beer matching

More food and beer matching, folks. You see beer is a working class drink of the proletariat, and in order to make it aspirational we have to copy wine drinkers and drink it out of wine glasses, match it with food, generally ponce it up and care about provenance.

A while back I pondered what beer would go with a doner kebab pot noodle and got the answer off Curmudgy that I ought to try an Efe’s Turkish lager. Now I couldn’t find one. I admit I didn’t look too hard, but nevertheless never got round to digging up a can of Efe’s. Instead I matched it with a Peroni, as I had a couple of bottles out of a beer gift set I acquired for the poncy glassware.

As is the norm, in the beer blogosphere, I have to tell you the recipe of this culinary highlight of delectable cuisine.

Step 1. Boil a kettle

Step 2. Take the lid off the Pot Noodle and remove sauce sachet from pot.

Step 3. Pour boiling water into the Pot Noodle to fill level marked on the plastic pot.

Step 4. Wait 2 minutes.

Step 5. Stir

Step 6. Wait another 2 minutes.

Step 7. Add sauce sachet to taste

Step 8. Wolf down.

The doner kebab Pot noodle is truly one of food science’s greatest achievements. In today’s health fascist world it is one of the few places you can acquire your daily recommended amount of monosodium glutamate. Monosodium glutamate has been removed from the flavours of much of the pot noodle range, but thankfully remains in this one. The flavour is hot and spicy, and whilst it is entirely artificial in flavour, actually has a hint of lamb to it. Most artificial flavours taste nothing like what they are supposed to. Beef, chicken or prawn cocktail crisps anyone? Lamb crisps actually taste of lamb. The laboratory whizz kids are getting better. Matched with a Peroni beer, its mouth after mouth of spicy delight. The Peroni perfectly matches the spice of the Pot Noodle with the delicate astringency of maize beer. My taste buds are in heaven. I admit it feels slightly dirty eating Pot Noodle, but that’s part of the thrill.

Peroni is a 5.1% Italian lager, indistinguishable from Stella, but through sales in restaurants rather than pubs, and not discounting in supermarkets, has managed to remain a premium brand. The ingredients on the bottle inform me it contains Italian maize. Is Italian maize any better than any other countries maize? Are Italian cornflakes considered better than any others? Go figure, but it’s a glass of cold fizzy lagery delight with a taste familiar to any Stella drinkers. One complaint about the beer gift pack was the bottles were 330ml and didn’t fit into the half pint glasses. Ill thought out, but a feature of many of the beer gift packs that fill the festive supermarket shelves.

I doubt I’ll be drinking any more Peroni. Nice enough bottle of lout but generally not cheap enough. Love the glassware though, very chic.


Wurst/Whorst- Brewing Arts Instructor, CEO APRK said...

How does Doner Kebab rate against Bombay Bad Boy?? Is Doner Kebab worth buying a case of at my local ethnic cuisine emporium??

Cooking Lager said...

Doner Kebab rates highly against the bombay bad boy, but neither are worth going out of your way for. America has no shortage of cheap fake chemical food. If I were in America, I'd be eating that.

Barm said...

Peroni missed a snobbery trick by not labeling itself as made with polenta, rather than boring old maize. Polenta is aspirational as any fule kno.