An artisanally crafted blog curated by Cooking Lager for discerning readers of beer bloggery

Thursday, 1 October 2009

Hands off our cooking lager !

Do the hippies have no shame? For years the sandal wearers were content to swig “artisan” products limited to pongy ale, leaving normal well adjusted people to neck clean crisp industrial fizzy cooking lager to their hearts content. Now the're claiming lager to be an “artisan” product and trying to lure people into it. See here. Hands off our cooking lager, I say! Say no to LOBI!

I want cheap, clean, crisp grog I can neck gallons of, not pay through the nose for “interesting flavours”

With the real reasons for the death of the pub industry revealed here, it’s no wonder sane sensible people stay in with a few cans of delicious and refreshing lout. Do we want lager ruined by the hippies? Do we want to have to sit and listen to people commenting on its rich depth of flavour, excellent nose, and rich heritage and tradition? No we want to sink a few and get sloshed for tuppence whilst watching a footie match on the telly.
Just look what's been done to an honest pint of bitter, by these types of people. You now see rows of ale offerings in some pubs, and not a cheap honest pint of bitter among the pongy rot offered. Don't let them do it to lager.

Hands off our cooking lager, beardie weirdies, Say no to LOBI!


Wurst/Whorst- Brewing Arts Instructor, CEO APRK said...

LOBI, shit that's funny!

Wurst/Whorst- Brewing Arts Instructor, CEO APRK said...

Barm said...

I love lager. Proper lager, that is. Perfumey Pilsener, bitter Franconian Vollbier, syrupy Bock. I am constantly having to explain to people that lager can be good, lager can be delicious and lager doesn't have to be gassed up to 18 volumes of CO2.

I hate Stella Artois and I hate Carlsberg and I hate Fosters.

The battle lines are drawn! Death to cooking lager (the product!)!

Tim said...

I think instead of carding against age, they shoudl be carding agaist income. Chavs drinking cheap piss just gives it a bad name. Look at cheap cider.. It costs £4 a bottle so its not cheap and middle class people drink it. Cooking lager could fulfill the same niche. Even tickers such as my mate Barry may drink it.

Cooking Lager said...

@Wurst, Liking it.

@Barm cooking lager is the true heritage of british lout!

@Tim You know a ticker and call him friend? You meet him on a station platform when you were both jotting down the numbers on trains?

Chris: said...

Some of the best lager I've ever drunk was in Germany back in the late sixties.

Only problem was that I then began behaving like a German...and began invading - the toilets!