An artisanally crafted blog curated by Cooking Lager for discerning readers of beer bloggery

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Class will out

One of the key aspects of beer blogging what I’ve learned is that there is always mileage in a booze related story in the press, and that one’s perspective ought to be squewed towards the lot of the drinking classes and not those puritan barstools that want to live in a decent and civil society.

I thus had to chuckle when I read this. Good god, you might think. Benefit scrounging dole scum necking cans of Stella whilst dropping the kids off to school, what’s the world coming to? But, you see, that’s where you’re wrong. You’re wrong because it’s a free country innit? And that basic freedom and liberty is obviously more important than being a puritanical spoilsport. Never mind the welfare of the kids. I’m sure they have just the same life chances as middle class kids. Nah, who am I kidding. It’s a disgrace alright. The kids don’t stand a chance.

It reminded me of a lass I used to date at university. Posh catholic bird with a cracking chest on her. She thankfully did believe in sex before marriage and was the recipient of the one and only poem that I have ever wrote. Thank god the current Mrs Cooking Lager doesn’t read this tosh. Anyway, I’m still in touch with the lass that gratefully received my innocence all those moons ago and she’s now a working mother with a kid. She was always dead set against faith schools, private education and was a bit of a leftie. She dropped her kid off at the local comprehensive, noticed the other mothers dropping kids off whilst still in dressing gowns, fags in mouths, and promptly enrolled her kid in the local catholic school because “at least they bother to get dressed of a morning”. She’ll be voting Tory next. Gotta laugh. Class will out as they say and we are all hypocrites.

British education, you gotta love it. Of course those that figure the so called chav underclass to be a disgrace will point out the giveaway prices of booze in the supermarkets. Well reading this, it’s pretty clear that the booze related social problems in society are more on trade than off. We cooking lager drinkers don’t need your taxes to get a lift home, under threat of having a fight down your street. We also don’t piss in the street, as some on trade customers enjoy. Oh and we don’t stand at a bar for an age, looking like muppets, in order to hand over £3 to some surly bint for the privilege of a pint, like mug punters do, we simply open the fridge. This copper is clearly taking toss.

Can you blame us for not wanting to take our pyjamas off? Crikey, I’d stay in the jimjams 24/7 if I could, can of lout in hand. It would be a nirvana. My own personal cooking lager lout chav nirvana. Bring it on


Wurst/Whorst- Brewing Arts Instructor, CEO APRK said...

I picture you as more of goth chav. You seem to be a bit dark in nature(not color). Nothing wrong with a little Ribena in your cooking lager.

Curmudgeon said...

So on the one hand you're condemning irresponsible chav parents, on the other hand you're celebrating the cooking lager lifestyle - because sure as hell that's what they'll be drinking.