In honour of one of my favourite beer bloggers, Mr Zak Avery, of the giant wine glass fame, I recently set upon a quest to discover whether there was a classier receptacle with which to drink the nectar that is cooking lager from. Has Zak achieved the pinnacle of refinement, nobility, exclusivity, gentility and over intellectualising the grog, with the choice of the bizarre over sized wine glass? Is there something mediocre and common about pint pots?
As you’d expect I pondered this issue for minutes before deciding upon a course of action. A trip into the Spastics shop (a shop that sells second hand tat to raise money for spastics, not a shop that sells spastics, as that would be wrong. Why would anyone want to buy a spastic? What would you do with it? Now a midget I could understand. I’d buy a midget. I’d dress him up like me, call him “mini cookie” and have him follow me about. But buying spastics is clearly and unambiguously morally wrong.) In the Spastics shop were 4 1970’s Babycham glasses for a pound. A cheeky bit of flirtation with the 90 year old dear and I had ‘em for 50p. I learnt that from watching Bargain Hunt as a student.
I was sat at home, been to the gym, dinner prepared like the modern metro sexual man I am, and sipping my delicious and refreshing can of lout from my babycham glass and admiring my own sophistication, when the lady squeeze arrived back from her late shift.
“What on earth are you doing?” She asked
“Having a lager, dear” I replied
“What are you drinking it out of?” She further enquired
“A babycham glass, my lovely” I answered
“Is there any point in asking, what the f*ck?”
“I don’t know dear, why don’t you ask, I’ll forgive the indecorous question and only show mild surprise at a lady using such language and I’ll do my best to answer”
At this she muttered something that sounded like “I hope lunacy isn’t hereditary” and poured herself a glass of wine, in a normal sized wine glass, ignoring the babycham glass I’d left out.
So have I discovered the nirvana of beer glasses? The ultimate in classy sophistication? Life is a journey, not a destination they say. Now to grow a beard like Zak. I wanna be like my hero.