Had my first blighty bottle of cooking lager last night, and I can only describe the sheer ecstasy of gods own ambrosia tricking down my throat as “bliss”. What cooking lager caused this rapture? Why it was a bottle of Grolsch. Had a box in the garage for a while, but good old cooking lager is pasteurised and lasts forever, not like nasty pongy “living” beer. On my telly box was a dismal England playing footie with the Dutch, so if not a Dutch lager at least a Dutch brand is my spirited gesture of international brotherhood.
I say not a Dutch lager, because Grolsch is brewed on this fair isle to 5% ABV (I think the Dutch stuff is slightly stronger) so as it’s a British brewed version of a foreign lager, not to the authentic ABV it is most definably cooking lager. The ingredients on the bottle however display a worrying purity. Only barley malt and no adjuncts.
However after the first swig, my worries were gone. It has beeriness to it, but not too much. It tastes like a proper lager, but not too much like one, and I would rate it highly. A bit of a crisp bite, indicating hops have been used but thankfully not too much. Swig out of the bottle. With beery beers you are better off necking from the can or bottle as you get less of the whiff.
Real genuine cooking lager contains fewer hops and malt and more adjunct and chemicals but this attempt at cooking lager really is okay, despite its evident purity. Don’t let it put you off. I bought it a while back, and recall at the time a price of 30p per half pint bottle. Not too bad.
There is also a point to be made here about how cooking lager and footie is man’s territory. I’ve been reading a lot about lasses and beer, specifically here. Whilst Melissa is arguably a tasty bird, it only confirms what I’ve long thought. Ale, whether real or not, is a girl’s drink. Cooking lager is a man’s drink. It’s like that and that’s the way it is.
Ale may once have been the preserve of men, but like many things they have allowed themselves to be emasculated and now it is one for the ladies. It would not surprise me to see ale drinkers swigging with their little finger pointing out.
Now there are lasses that drink a pint of lout, but these are called ladettes. Ladettes are lasses that like to behave like blokes. This means that even though the occasional ladette may swig the odd pint of Carling, it remains a man’s pint.
Ale, white wine, blue wicked = Girls
Lager = Men