Wednesday, 22 July 2009
Money Money Money
Beer blogs, as you know are not all about beer, but an opportunity to rant. Rant about anything you like. Anything from the governments, smoking bans, even flapjacks. They are a way of telling an apathetic hostile world what you think. In a world of over 6 billion people, is it easy to think you are an insignificant statistic, probably because that’s correct, but let’s assume more than one or two people read this tosh, for the sake of argument. Let assume we can move the world.
I would like to rant about £5 notes. Here in blighty the £5 is the lowest note denomination of currency. Lower that a “fiver” and we are in coin territory. There is a £1 and £2 coin in circulation. Above a fiver sits a £10 or tenner and £20 or twenty (not for some reason twenter, go figure). £50 notes are fairly rare (if I had one I would treasure it and never spend it), and only the Scottish has the £100 note. Run down here.
Now I don’t like breaking a note at the best of times, but the higher the denomination the more difficult it is. I don’t like spending shiny coins either, or crisp new notes of any denomination. I can spend any amount on a plastic card, but parting with cash is painful. Currently the new twenties are lovely; I don’t like to part with them. Breaking a twenty is painful. Fiver’s and tenners are less painful; they tend to be a bit tatty anyway. However there is a further fly in the ointment that makes breaking any note above a fiver fill me with an unquenchable rage. There a no bloody fivers in circulation in this shitting country.
Break a tenner for a low value item, some twonk at the cash register thinks its okay to give me 8 pounds coins back. It’s not okay, give me a five pound note and 3 pound coins you tosser. This happens in pubs, cafe’s, sandwich bars, newsagents, fast food dens, every bloody where.
Small businesses of Britain get your bloody cash management sorted. I am a man; I have a wallet, not a purse. Wallets are designed for notes and a few coins. A handful of coins are a pain in the arse.
Buying a burger recently, I actually broke a twenty, something I rarely do, as it is often just too painful, but I had no choice as I had nothing else on me, and the spotty gormless kid serving thought it okay to give me all the change in pound coins. “You're having a laugh” I said, “Sorry that all that’s in the till” he said “Open another till” I said “Sorry, I can’t” “That is unacceptable, if you cannot open another till, find the manager that can”. The manager turns up, opens another till, I get a tenner and a fiver, along with my burger of cheap mediocrity, and that outlet loses my custom henceforth. I don’t want to have to have a discussion to get what is clearly reasonable. I should just get it as a matter of course.
Small businesses, for Christ’s sake sort out your cash management, get some fivers in your till. It’s not okay to hand me a handful of pound coins. It makes me think twice about stepping foot in your gaff again, unless I’ve got the right money. Make it easy for me to break a note. It’s painful enough without you making it more painful.
Oh and don’t try and pass a Scottish note on me, you are business, you do business banking and cash management, I potter to a cash point every so often. If you want to accept jock notes that’s fine. I don’t accept ‘em because they are a pain in the arse to pass on, just sort out your cash management, for Christ’s sake.