An artisanally crafted blog curated by Cooking Lager for discerning readers of beer bloggery

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Cooking Lager

The first post to a blog that intends to celebrate English Cooking Lager!

The urban dictionary spells it out, Cheap and nasty second rate lager.

By way of a further explanation, the term cooking lager derives from the term cooking sherry. Sherry is a delightful drink of wine and brandy from the Jerez region of Spain that was once popular and arguably deserves to be again. It suffers from an image problem. It’s an old ladies drink, and what keeps many old ladies going is cooking sherry. Cheap sherry from Cyprus or even Blighty, nominally bought for cooking, but often necked. Thus “cooking” mean cheap, and occasionally nasty.

Cooking lager is certainly cheap, but the worst that can be said of it is that it’s bland. There is nothing wrong with it. If you prefer making yourself rich and not brewers and publicans you drink whatever is both decent and cheap, and steer clear of the sting.

There is no shortage of blogs that wax lyrical about the complex flavours and fruity notes of anything from a pint of cask Ye Olde DogsBollox, or an unusual Belgian lambic, or an exciting hoppy American IPA. Good luck to such blogs, I enjoy reading them.

This however has no such excitement, for all cooking lager tastes more or less the same. It is not drunk for flavour as it has very little. It is drunk because we Brits like to get pissed but are unable to cope with proper lager. We therefore neck cooking lager in vast quantities and piss it all up the wall. Its what makes us better than other countries.

Now I could go across the road and buy a couple of bottles of Weiss bier at £1.70 a pop, or 3 for £4 fine English ales and tell you how nice they all are, but currently I can buy 15 cans of Stella for £7.49 at Sainsbury's. It's free if you put one under your arm and run for it. Oh glorious wife beater, reassuringly cheap.

If anyone finds this blog and wishes to comment, please leave a tip on where the cheapest pisswater can be found in your area.

Tomorrow we will find out whether I have beaten any wives.

1 comment:

Velky Al said...

Does pisswater come any worse than Budweiser (the American one)? Perhaps a tasting of cooking lagers is in order on Fuggled?????